But truth be told, it was becoming a problem. I was addicted. I was checking my phone every "spare" moment.
The thing is - there is no such thing as a "Spare" moment. All the moments we have are equally important, are equally available for us to use. None of them are "spare." We do not get any of them back. We are how we choose to spend our time.
I have big dreams for myself. Cook meals, eat them, exercise, spend time with my husband and with my son. And bit by bit I was giving away my moments, throwing away my time to refresh facebook. To see what people I don't love nearly as much as my husband or son have to say about cats or banal articles from mommy bloggers or vapid memes.
Facebook was a time suck and I had succumbed to its siren call.
So finally one day, I thought, what is stopping me? Nothing is stopping me. My last interactions with this person who once told me not to leave have been overly polite. That isn't worth staying here for. So, I quit.
At first, I didn't really quit. I deactivated my main facebook, but I used my second facebook account, an old account, to log in and see stuff. I interacted a few times and even changed the name back to my real name. And I knew I was cheating, but I didn't feel that I was cheating as badly because there were fewer things on this facebook. Fewer groups, and people I met or added after I stopped using the old account were not showing up in my feed.
I got a few messages asking me what happened to my facebook account. My MIL, my husband's aunt and a cousin who said she understood, she'd taken a yearlong break from facebook once. They told me they missed my son's photo posts. Which I hadn't even made in weeks, which did not reflect the time I spent on facebook. My brother tried to convince me to come back until the election, so I could see his witty posts. It did not sway me.
I have big dreams for myself. Cook meals, eat them, exercise, spend time with my husband and with my son. And bit by bit I was giving away my moments, throwing away my time to refresh facebook. To see what people I don't love nearly as much as my husband or son have to say about cats or banal articles from mommy bloggers or vapid memes.
Facebook was a time suck and I had succumbed to its siren call.
So finally one day, I thought, what is stopping me? Nothing is stopping me. My last interactions with this person who once told me not to leave have been overly polite. That isn't worth staying here for. So, I quit.
At first, I didn't really quit. I deactivated my main facebook, but I used my second facebook account, an old account, to log in and see stuff. I interacted a few times and even changed the name back to my real name. And I knew I was cheating, but I didn't feel that I was cheating as badly because there were fewer things on this facebook. Fewer groups, and people I met or added after I stopped using the old account were not showing up in my feed.
I got a few messages asking me what happened to my facebook account. My MIL, my husband's aunt and a cousin who said she understood, she'd taken a yearlong break from facebook once. They told me they missed my son's photo posts. Which I hadn't even made in weeks, which did not reflect the time I spent on facebook. My brother tried to convince me to come back until the election, so I could see his witty posts. It did not sway me.
There have been moments when I've found myself reading an article that I really want to share, but I have to actually choose a person to share it with, no releasing it into the wind, no "likes" from ghosts of my past.
Since I quit facebook, I have interacted more frequently by email and text with people I love dearly. These are people I did not interact with much on facebook. I've sent them long emails, maintained ongoing text conversations, even shared some interesting articles. I have cooked more meals for my family than I had cooked in months. I have made more plans with friends. I have read news every day and kept up with it.
I still have moments when I miss facebook, but the truth is, my life is richer since I left.
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